The Juice Cycling Club
Keepin it real real

Radioshack or Steroidioshack?

The N.Y. times is reporting three former teammates will confess to Lance using illegal drugs during his career. If the courts find Armstong guilty of using steroids, this will finally confirm that the 7 time tour winner does in fact have one really small testicle.

Things to look forward to if Lance is found guilty-
-New Roidioshack tees/kits
-Dramatic increase in hipster following (hipsters love idolizing drug abusers)
-Lance Armstrong Fairness Fund (reference Floyd Landis circa 2006/2007)
-Nike, Trek and Yellow Bracelets will all be on super sale
-Europeans can go back to hating the U.S. like they did in the “Bush Years”
-Every French person and every bike shop mechanic can say “I told you so”
-Every French bike mechanic can say “I LE TOLD YOU SO, A HUH HUH” (french accent)
-Greg Lemond will die from combustious genitalius (exploding boner)
-Possable Public Service Announcement featuring Lance and some of his U23 junior riders (reference here)
-Most importantly, Lance will become the honorary captain of “The Juice”

A big thanks to Schaper for the heads up on this breaking news.


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